Why I Thought I Was Lazy (Until I Learned About Human Design)

Understanding my Manifesting Generator energy helped me stop apologizing and start trusting my purpose.

I used to wonder why I’d dive into something new—sports, hobbies, careers—and then, seemingly out of nowhere, be completely done with it. No regrets, no apologies, just ready for the next thing.

I’ve since learned a bit about Human Design, and it’s helped me begin to understand why I am the way I am.

Gymnastics. Swimming. Diving. Guitar. Volleyball. Soccer. Drill team. You name it—I probably tried it for a season. And then I moved on.

It wasn’t that I got bored or was quitting. I just saw something shinier, more exciting. The idea of sticking to one thing for years never felt natural, and it never even occurred to me that I could do multiple things at once.

After high school, I had no clue what I wanted to do. Everyone seemed to have a suggestion, but nothing lit a fire in me. There were countless tear-filled nights with my stepdad over algebra homework. He couldn’t figure out how to teach me, and I couldn’t grasp what he was trying to explain. We both ended up frustrated.

So, I enrolled in a nursing assistant program. I thought maybe I wanted to be a nurse. That crashed and burned pretty quickly—I didn’t pass the exam. But I left with a certificate and got a job, so there was that.

It wasn’t until I turned 28 that I finally felt a spark. It was 1999, and computer programming was all the rage. I jumped in. I loved learning how to write code, take apart computer chassis, upgrade memory cards and hard drives. Learning something new lit me up.

This from the same girl who was labeled “lazy” by therapists in grade school after bouncing between subjects and struggling with focus—later understood to be ADHD. Despite that, I graduated summa cum laude with a 3.9 GPA.

From there, I worked in product management. I was good at it—until the burnout set in. I was ready for something new.

That “something” showed up in the form of a dear friend who was an esthetician. She radiated confidence and creativity. I thought, yes—I want that. So, I left my corporate job, went back to school for esthetics, and homeschooled my two middle-schoolers at the same time. I earned straight A’s.

That experience taught me I wasn't lazy all those years—I just wasn’t inspired.

Looking back now, I’ve changed career paths more times than I can count. And as a Manifesting Generator, that finally makes sense.

We’re not built for rigid structures. We’re built to respond. To pivot. To follow what lights us up.

When something shows up that excites me, I go all in—and I manifest it into reality.

Whether it’s my career, hobbies, or interests, once I’ve decided, it happens. It’s part of my energetic blueprint.

This understanding became part of my awakening journey. It led me to heal the parts of my inner child who had been labeled disorganized, flighty, or “too much.”

Learning that I’m a Manifesting Generator helped me reclaim my self-worth. I’m not scattered—I’m responsive. I’m not lazy—I’m energized by alignment. When something truly excites me, I move mountains to make it real.

I’ve learned to listen to what moves me. I feel it in my heart chakra—when something resonates there, I know. That’s my green light.

And I go for it.

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