Reframe Your Brain Part 2: Healing Trigger Wounds

Now that we understand our triggered reactions from Part 1 (start there if you haven't, so this article makes sense), it’s time to examine the old wounds that keep resurfacing and heal them ourselves. The universe has a way of presenting the same lessons repeatedly until we decide to break our own patterns. If we constantly feel reactive and triggered, we will continue to experience those feelings until we address the underlying wounds within us.

These wounds persist because they are stored within our energetic pathways. I like to think of healing as an ocean. Deep at the bottom lies your wound, and when it surfaces, it comes with massive waves, crashing down and sometimes making us feel like we're drowning. But as we begin to heal, those waves become smaller and smaller until, one day, they’re gone, and we are left with calm waters gently lapping at our feet—peaceful and steady.

Our triggers are signals from our intuition. When we heal our reactive responses, we are better able to feel intuitive nudges instead of reacting from a place of pain. Becoming aware of our inner wounds is a gift that allows us to better understand ourselves and lead with our hearts, rather than the projections of our minds.

Processing and identifying the wounds we need to heal can feel overwhelming, emotional, and painful. But healing is necessary to transform our inner hearts.

Let me share a personal experience. One of my childhood wounds was abandonment. As a child, I didn’t have the emotional capacity to process it. Abandonment wounds often manifest later in life as feelings of rejection and shame, affecting personal relationships and leading to attachment issues, anxiety, codependency, and depression. This wound became one of my major triggers, showing up as attachment anxiety in adulthood and in relationships. Instead of being my true self, I went into survival mode, desperately trying to ensure no one left me—and spiraling when they did.

This was compounded by PTSD from an abusive relationship. The more I felt abandoned, the more I became codependent on my abuser. It’s a vicious cycle, and regardless of where we are in our healing journey, it’s essential to give ourselves love, compassion, and forgiveness. Healing from old trauma while processing new trauma is a layered process, requiring constant reframing of our thoughts and emotions.

As we heal, the waves of emotion start big, consuming us, but gradually become smaller each time we confront the wound. The waves shrink because we are consistently reframing our minds, and eventually, the trigger is gone.

Exercise: Identify the wound being triggered by becoming aware of your reactive behaviors. For example, my triggers flared up when I felt disconnected from my partner. If I thought my partner was avoiding me, not communicating, or was distant, my response would stem from feelings of rejection and shame from my unhealed abandonment wound. My reaction? I’d shut down, threaten to leave, say hurtful things, and drink to avoid feeling the pain of rejection. Identifying our wounds is the first step to healing them.

No one’s actions are because of me. Once we realize that everyone lives in their own reality, we understand that no one does anything because of us, just as we don’t do things because of anyone else. If my partner is distant or uncommunicative, it has nothing to do with me. Accepting this is key.

I am not a victim. I am an adult with life experience that I can apply, and each day is a new opportunity to learn and grow. I will make mistakes, but when I know better, I do better. I have full autonomy over my body, mind, and actions. I am loved and whole, just as I am. No matter what happens in my relationships, I will be fine, fully loved, and whole.

Healing involves forgiveness. Forgive the adults who left us, for they too were doing the best they could with the tools and experiences they had. They didn’t "do anything" to us. As children, we simply knew someone loved us, and then they were gone, and we didn’t feel that love anymore. Forgive yourself for believing that anyone else could make you feel whole or worthy. That worthiness comes from within. This forgiveness extends to all the failed relationships and needless suffering we caused ourselves by repeating behaviors and telling our own pity stories.

Each time we recognize the wound and reframe our thoughts, we forgive ourselves, which is an act of self-love. No one will love us more than we love ourselves. The love we seek will only come from within, not from anyone else. Repeat this process as often as needed to reframe your mind and heal.

If you are in an abusive situation, please consider contacting the:

National Domestic Violence hotline 800 799 SAFE (7233). 

Resources (that were a game changer for me): 

• The Inner Work: An Invitation to True Freedom and Lasting Happiness by Mathew Micheletti (Author), Ashley Cottrell 

• The Shaman’s Path to Freedom by Don Jose Ruiz

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz 

The content shared on this blog reflects my personal experiences with self-healing, spirituality, and my psychic journey. My intention is to hold space for those also navigating healing from trauma, addiction, CPTSD, and the effects of childhood or religious conditioning. This blog is not a substitute for psychological therapy or professional treatment. Rather, it is a space for sharing my journey, in the hope that it may resonate with and support others on their own paths to healing and freedom.