Richard Bach (Author and Pilot) once said, "If you love something, set it free; if it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."
Most of us are familiar with the phrase, "If you love something, set it free." We’ve heard it countless times, yet many of us still struggle in our relationships because letting go stirs a fear that what we release won’t return, leaving us alone.
For generations, there has been a disconnect between love and freedom. Society, parents, religion, and relationships have taught us that love comes with conditions. As a society, we haven’t fully embraced the idea that true love is, in fact, freedom.
True love means giving someone the freedom to be themselves—to learn, make mistakes, fall down, experience heartbreak, and continue their journey of self-discovery—while offering them support and holding space for their growth.
Our human conditioning and societal upbringing often prevent us from loving in this liberating way. We carry unconscious wounds, rooted in shame, that create a need for control. These fears—whether of abandonment, rejection, or punishment—stem from our past experiences. If we haven’t received unconditional love from our parents or partners, it becomes challenging to love without imposing rules. We've learned love based on conditions, judgments, and punishments from those who influenced us.
In my own life, childhood trauma and abandonment wounds once hindered my ability to love freely or accept love without conditions. The path to healing began with understanding and addressing those traumas.
I credit my husband, Eric, for teaching me that love is freedom. He has consistently held space for me to learn, grow, and heal at my own pace. When I struggle with communication or am triggered by old wounds, he gives me the room to understand myself, which has been pivotal in my healing journey. Now, as I cultivate self-love and reframe my understanding of love, I can do the same for him.
When I told Eric I wanted to take a solo trip across the country in our truck camper to visit friends and family, he said, "Okay, let's figure out how to make it happen." It wasn’t easy for either of us. We both have our unique experiences with love and relationships, but as old patterns surfaced, we supported each other in the process of healing.
The key to experiencing love as freedom is to love ourselves unconditionally. When we heal our wounds and offer ourselves forgiveness and compassion, we create the space to love others in the same way. True love allows our loved ones the freedom to be their authentic selves, knowing they are supported and accepted without judgment.
For most of us, this will be a work in progress, not a pursuit of perfection. We must give ourselves grace, compassion, and the space to make mistakes and learn along the way. Acknowledge our missteps, take responsibility for our actions, and reframe how we love, allowing those we care about to experience true freedom.
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The content shared on this blog reflects my personal experiences with self-healing, spirituality, and my psychic journey. My intention is to hold space for those also navigating healing from trauma, addiction, CPTSD, and the effects of childhood or religious conditioning. This blog is not a substitute for psychological therapy or professional treatment. Rather, it is a space for sharing my journey, in the hope that it may resonate with and support others on their own paths to healing and freedom.
