A Personal Note on Love, Worth and Belonging

Since I began sharing my truth in my creative work—and the deep inner work I’ve been doing around self-worth, love, belonging, and healing my abandonment wound—I’ve had a couple family members reach out to tell me that I’m “bringing shame to the family.”

I don’t blame them.

I can see the generational patterns of shame and how they weave themselves into family dynamics and systems, layered with emotional trauma from the past. I’ve had to look closely at my own inner world—dissect it, study it, and hold myself accountable for the generational patterns of abuse I once projected onto my children, my loved ones, my husband, and most of all, myself.

We all view the world through the lens of our own belief systems, shaped by lived experience. To expect someone to read my words and not feel their own pain is unrealistic. And honestly, that discomfort is often the first step toward inner heart healing.

So I welcome it.

Point your fingers. Tell me I should feel ashamed for sharing my truth. It often surprises people when I say this: I don’t feel ashamed at all—no matter what is said or thought about me. That’s because I choose to look inward and build my self-worth from the inside out.

As a practicing psychic, student, and professional medium, I’ve done hundreds of readings, healings, and connections with loved ones who have passed. Through this work, I know—deeply—that we are all divine beings worthy of a life filled with love, belonging, and worth.

I understand that my truth holds up a mirror for people who aren’t ready to explore their own inner world. I also understand that many don’t know my lived experience and may choose assumption over curiosity, judgment over understanding. They will continue to spin their own narratives, and I have no control over that.

There’s an old saying: “Don’t let them get your goat.” Well—my goat is right outside for all to see. There’s nothing to get when it’s just standing in the front yard.

Healing my abandonment wound hasn’t been easy. It’s come through hard life lessons, especially this past year, and learning as I go.

This year, in particular, has been one of the hardest of my life. It’s shown me—clearly—that my attachment to things outside of myself, like money, jobs, and other people’s opinions, has nothing to do with my worth.

Through lived experience, my psychic work, and therapy, I’ve learned this truth: my worth only comes from me.

I’ve been alchemizing and releasing decades of emotional trauma filled with shame and judgment to make room for my true self. It’s been painful to hear loved ones tell me how much I “suck” for speaking my truth.

I rebuilt my inner self brick by brick—only to have people I love try to tear it down again.

And now, I’ve reached a place within myself that holds worth, love, and belonging. I’m no longer willing to hide so others don’t have to feel their own feelings.

My inner world is steady. Strong. Worthy.

I’ve told my parents, over and over, that I don’t blame them. That I love them. That I understand. But I can’t make them hear me or understand me—and I’ve accepted that as their truth.

I’m proud of myself for being willing to change my behaviors and thought patterns from shame to worth. It’s taken years to get here—after a decade of addiction, thoughts of suicide, depression, and dissociation. I know how many people are suffering quietly because they don’t know how to do the inner work.

So I’m sharing mine.

It’s raw. Real. Unfiltered.

We learn as we go. We make mistakes. We show up and sometimes do it badly. Healing is a daily practice of removing shame and judgment that was never ours to begin with—and building self-worth in its place.

It takes accountability, self-love, forgiveness, and most of all, a willingness to become aware of our patterns and consciously change them.

I’ve learned that my worth is not attached to jobs, money, parents, partners, friends, or societal norms that condition us to abandon ourselves. That’s what we’re healing—the abandonment of ourselves.

That is spirituality.

We were born as precious humans, full of divinity and worth. Any shame, fear, or judgment we carry isn’t ours—it’s learned conditioning. And we have the power to reprogram it.

I will continue to share my truth. My mistakes. My lessons. My healing.

There is no roadmap for spirituality. It’s our relationship with ourselves, our spirit, our soul.

So I’m sharing mine.

I’m grateful for my parents, my family, my ex-husband, and my children. All of it shaped who I am today—someone learning to build self-worth, consciously change my own behavior, and show up more fully for myself, my loved ones, and my community.

It’s a practice. Not perfection.

I will keep showing up—practicing validation, presence, and compassion—for myself and others. I see it every day: we’re all out here learning as we grow.

To my parents, husband, family, ex-families and friends, and to You the person who is reading this now: I love you, I see you, I hear you and you are divinely loved, worthy and whole just as you are.

And I know, for certain, there is no shame in that.

Jane Garrity is a Student of Life, Psychic Medium, Wilderness First Responder, Writer, and Content Creator — learning, healing, and awakening as she goes.

If you feel ready to begin your own inner journey of healing and self-worth, I offer personal psychic sessions to support you—book a session when it feels right for you.

These sessions are intended for spiritual insight and personal growth and are not a substitute for medical, psychological, or legal advice.